he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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