someone threw a dead crab at me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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