I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
