Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
