Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize