i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
