oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
