I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
