So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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