its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
