I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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