You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
