No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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