This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The power of my boobs compel you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
