Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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