You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize