playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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