So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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