So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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