I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
