We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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