i permit you to call me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
