So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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