I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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