She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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