Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
