Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
