So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize