You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
