I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
