K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
