we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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