I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I could make wine with my vomit
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
do nipples grow back?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
