this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize