Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
