I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
