3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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