So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
