Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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