How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Welp...herpes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
