Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize