is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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