I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
