No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
