Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
