i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
