So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
