I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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