Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
