She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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