i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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