The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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