You just made me feel so damn special
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
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