): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
