well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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