he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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