she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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