I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up under a house in Key West
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
