and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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