Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he thought i was a dude.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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