She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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