Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
