chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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