i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
