these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
