we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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